1977: Bootleg Snacks: Swallowed Deep Into The Love: Track #: Lost


Toys:

We'll fade it in at this point, Jack.

Everybody lean in real close and listen up real good. It's Auntie Toys, searing sonnets and psalms in your ear.

Once upon a time, far away, years and years ago, screaming out my name as I went down, a young woman entered college on Labor Day evening of her nineteenth year... As pure and true as the driven snow.


Floatilla Men:

(Hey, what the hell!)


Toys:

She had never been kissed, she had never been fondled, she'd... god knows she'd never been wasted. She was a doe-eyed, rainbow-deprived virgin. Nineteen years old and still half-drunken with youth... In this century!

One Fourth of July she was out drinking on a fake ID in one of those tweak and freak disco dance joints...


Floatilla Women:

(Leather Bitch!)


Toys:

The kind of girl you want to know
From her head down to her toenails, yeah...

Super Freak, my ass; Blow daddy!


Floatilla Men:

(Break out the good shit!)


Toys:

Anyway, she was out drinking on a fake I.D. in one of those tweak and freak disco dance joints, underneath a southeastern coastal city. When under the confusion of the flickering, upright line-of-sight disco ball and storming PA...


Floatilla Women:

(We’re gonna burn this mutha down!)


Toys:

Not to mention... not to mention, all the microdot and schnapps she ate and drank that night...


Floatilla Men:

(Pour yourself another round!)


Toys:

She got separated from her alabaster friends. And she was... stricken with fear.

When suddenly there appeared like a dark angel at her side, a thirty-seven year old sweet-talking suave smooth disco gigolo named Dr. Love.


Floatilla Women:

(He used to be mine!)


Toys:

Now, Love was a striking man, in fact, he struck her several times later on that very same evening, under solemnly obligated patriotic prescription circumstances.

There's some people engaged in flagellation back there.


Floatilla Men:

(Who the hell asked you?)


Toys:

Well, what would any red blooded American nineteen year old virgin female do when confronted with a thirty-seven year old domination-wedding-chapel-leather-bar disco gigolo named Dr. Love?

She went home with him!


Floatilla Women:

(Will you remember me?)


Toys:

It's not even midnight, and in an age old time honored right of passage, Dr. Love made a woman out of her.


Floatilla Men:

(Give it up!)


Toys:

It took three whole days and 2 whole nights, but he did it, he made a light-socket, bottle rocket woman out of her.

About halfway through the second day, they stopped, and he tried to make a man out of her, but she didn't like that part, so they swap playthings.


Floatilla Women:

(That ought to do you for now!)


Toys:

Don't look at me like you don't know how that could be..! The measure passed with ease.


Floatilla Men:

(Hypocrisy Gestapo!)


Toys:

And don't tell me you haven't thought about it. You haven't?

Is this your first summer in town? Let me show you around.


Floatilla Women:

(WWD Love do!)


Toys:

From there, the house call relationship went, um, downhill, if that's possible. It got really sick. It was one of those twisted night after night after night, all day long, all night long, kinda corkscrewed down the back of the night on 2 wheels kinda things.

I hear some twisted men out there that like that.


Floatilla Men:

(I’m right here!)


Toys:

There's hope! And that's the start of a sad mysterious story: a story of love... love, love, true performance artist love and full witch doctor regalia.


Floatilla Women:

(The best things in life are we!)



Toys:

Amen!




All Floatilla:

(Sasha!)

1996 Bootleg Snacks: Volume 2: Swallowed By The Night (Unplugged): Track 33: Soda: Track 16




Jeff:

You wanna hear the story? We gotta do the story.

On the last bootleg snacks, we recorded the song, but not the story. Bad idea.

We gotta get the story down. You guys have to laugh real loud even if it ain't fuckin' funny. Alright.

I can't say fuck on stage. We'll fade it in at this point, Jack.

Everybody lean in real close and listen up real good. It's uncle Jeff's naughty bedtime story time.

Once upon a time not so very long a go, a young man entered college in the autumn of his nineteenth year. As pure as the driven snow.


Floatilla:

(bullshit!)


Jeff:

He had never been kissed, he had never been fondled, he'd... god knows he'd never been laid. He was a virgin. 19 years old and still a virgin. In this century.

One night he was out drinking on a fake id in one of those industrial dance joints.





Anyway, he was out drinking on a fake I.D. in one of those industrial dance joints.

Underneath a large east coast city. When amid the confusion of the swirling, pulsating lights and the thundering PA.

Not to mention, not to mention, all the alcohol and chemicals he had eaten and drank that night. He got separated from his friends. And he was... stricken with fear.

When suddenly there appeared like a dark angel at his side, a 35 year old performance artist named Sasha.

Now Sasha was a striking woman, in fact she struck him several times later on that very same evening under controlled circumstances.

There's some people going nuts back there.

Well, what would any red blooded American 19 year old virgin male do when confronted with a 35 year old performance artist named Sasha? He went home with her!


Floatilla:

(Fucked her!)


Jeff:

And in the wee wee hours of the morning, in an age old time honored right of passage,
Sasha made a man out of him.

It took 3 whole days and 2 whole nights, but she did it, she made a man out of him.

About halfway through the second day, they stopped, and she tried to make a woman out of him, but he didn't like that part so they switched back.

Don't look at me like you don't know how that could be done.

And don't tell me you haven't thought about it. You haven't? Neither have I.


Floatilla:

(Sasha!)


Jeff:

From there the relationship went, um, downhill, if that's possible. It got really sick. It was one of those twisted night after night after night, all day long, all night long, kinda older woman younger man kinda things.

I hear some older women out there that like that.

There's hope. And here's their sad sick story, a story of love, love, love, true love and horseback riding apparel.






Deep Into The Night




Jeff:

Somewhere behind her tangles


It's not about any of us, we just make this shit up.

Get that out of the way right now!


Somewhere behind her tangles
Her eyes are smoky brown
The siren of those subterranean clubs downtown
Pure evil- each night I walk her home

They say she has her secrets
Everything she owns is black
They say any man who leaves with her might not come back
I'll take my chances whenever we're alone

She lives above a warehouse
Her loft is dark and cold
She padlocks the door and while she's changing her clothes
I often wonder if I ought to change my mind

Jeff & Scot:

But she always offers whiskey
To smooth the edge off the night
Lights the incense and draws all the blinds
And whispers what she wants and I comply

BRIDGE: Tall shadows bloom in her room by candlelight


Jeff:

I guess she told you.


Scot:

That's right!


Jeff & Scot:

High ceilings loom and play tricks on the eyes
Then she sighs,

CHORUS: "Bad boy, I'm crazy for you
Come feel the fire in my eyes
I'll take you down deep into the night"


Jeff:

I know I should be sleeping
I should be in my bed alone
But she's my darkest sin when she coos "Bad boy, come on,
It's getting late, it's time to walk me home"


(submissively) o.k.


Jeff & Scot:

I'm failing all my classes
I sleep till late afternoon
I'm losing weight,
I'm going to be flat broke soon


Jeff:

But I can't help it, I'll be back again tonight


Jeff & Scot:

BRIDGE: Tall shadows bloom in her room by candlelight
High ceilings loom and play tricks on the eyes


Jeff:

Then she sighs,


Jeff & Scot:

CHORUS: "Bad boy, I'm crazy for you
Come feel the fire in my eyes
I'll take you down deep into the night"


Jeff:

Why, here comes Sasha now...


Jeff & Scot:

CHORUS: "Bad boy, I'm crazy for you
Come feel the fire in my eyes
I'll take you down deep into the night"


Scot:

ooh – uh - ho


Jeff & Scot:

deep into the night


Jeff:

Sasha!

Godda...

Give her money, if she's your waitress, damn, tip her!

Aw, tip 'em all.